end of foc, beginning of the end..

The end of FOC. I feel i've aged tremendously.
Officially, its the end of my freshman year and the commencement of my 2nd year.
Seeing all the youthful faces and bundles of energy in my orientation group fellow, it dawned upon me the transformation that occurred to me within this short span of a year.
How i've lost things that i once possessed. How things are moving too fast for me to even see.

Am i just too oblivious to things happening around me?

Soon, the innocence in me would be lost as i wander into the world of huge responsibilities and massive workload for the coming year. Will i actually enjoy the 2nd term around? Or would it revert me back into the grumpy lifeless me?

Sometimes, i try to hard to accommodate everyone's wish or desire and losing myself in the process. People do not appreciate what one has been doing behind the scenes, all they are concerned is what takes place on the surface. Do they appreciate the pain and tears that goes on behind?

Superficial?

I beg to differ, it might be that they are simply not as sensitive to issues to look beyond the scope of things at that current time. Maybe they aren't aware of the whole story. Or maybe, they were blinded by other issues too. I make mistakes too, but who will forgive me when i do it?

The painful decisions that one has to make at times is simply unbearable at times too. I'm human afterall, i'm too affected by emotions. I'm always protecting others but who looks out for me?

Selfish thinking but please let me indulge in it for the moment.

I'm not perfect. I need guidance too.

Afterall...

I'm human too.