I admire..admire.. admire

I admire ZC for his easy going personality

I admire AL for his diligence

I admire KV for his brains

I admire EL for his finances

I admire LS for her plans for the future

I admire them for their spirit as one

I admire just about everyone around me

I admire myself for being in awe by the people around me

I am not part of anything

I am just another one.. of the many around me..

overwhelmed

I don't know how much longer i can take this. Its really quite stressful.

Meetings after meetings, discussions after discussions.

I feel that i'm losing myself as a student.

Someone help me out in this issue please. I really need guidance.

I feel very lost in this new position.

end of foc, beginning of the end..

The end of FOC. I feel i've aged tremendously.
Officially, its the end of my freshman year and the commencement of my 2nd year.
Seeing all the youthful faces and bundles of energy in my orientation group fellow, it dawned upon me the transformation that occurred to me within this short span of a year.
How i've lost things that i once possessed. How things are moving too fast for me to even see.

Am i just too oblivious to things happening around me?

Soon, the innocence in me would be lost as i wander into the world of huge responsibilities and massive workload for the coming year. Will i actually enjoy the 2nd term around? Or would it revert me back into the grumpy lifeless me?

Sometimes, i try to hard to accommodate everyone's wish or desire and losing myself in the process. People do not appreciate what one has been doing behind the scenes, all they are concerned is what takes place on the surface. Do they appreciate the pain and tears that goes on behind?

Superficial?

I beg to differ, it might be that they are simply not as sensitive to issues to look beyond the scope of things at that current time. Maybe they aren't aware of the whole story. Or maybe, they were blinded by other issues too. I make mistakes too, but who will forgive me when i do it?

The painful decisions that one has to make at times is simply unbearable at times too. I'm human afterall, i'm too affected by emotions. I'm always protecting others but who looks out for me?

Selfish thinking but please let me indulge in it for the moment.

I'm not perfect. I need guidance too.

Afterall...

I'm human too.

FOC 07/08

FOC --> Freshmen Orientation Camp. A beginning and an end.

The beginning of supposed fun. The end of my term as a freshmen.

Tmr's the FOC camp but i'm not excited. Could it be that I'm already tired from the preparations? I just wanna enjoy myself before school starts.

Well, wish me luck. I wanna have fun.

Achieve big. Think small

As i sit in front of my comp, looking thru my list of friends on friendster, I can't help but wonder how many of those people i actually know quite well.

It seems a pretty weird fact that people whom u see everyday but do not greet u actually add u into their "friends" list. I mean, this provides a new avenue and channel for you to make the first move but does anything happen thereafter? Or does it just remain status quo and u walk by each other as usual, pretending that u've never seen him/her.

Food for thought.

I perused through some of my sec sch mate's profiles and pictures. The changes that they have undergone seems to be quite interesting. Both physically and mentally. For example, taking part in marathons, starting their own business, growing obese. Lol

I pale in comparison.

What have i achieved for the past 21 years? Its coming onto 22 and i haven't found my forte or direction in life. I feel like a loser.
Alot of my friends are chasing their dreams, going for their interest.
I'm only pursing a paper reluctantly, if i could put it that way.
Maybe studies isn't my cup of tea.

Oh well.

I need to achieve something big.

Okie, how bout starting with something small then.....

A lil bit of courtesy pls?

Ladies.

I appeal for you to lower your voices during lecture.

I have absolutely no wish to hear about your shopping trip over the weekend and the way your splurged.

I have no desire to know how you managed to sleep in tutorial classes.

Please.

Do me a favor and just lower your voices. The entire world can hear you 7 seats away.

And shaker fries boy.
Don't pretend that you weren't the one trying shaking the entire LT away.

What happened to etiquettes?

What happened to education?

I'm back to my usual self now.

Holiday i hear? What holiday?

I've so many things weighing on my mind.

I feel I've aged 10 years.

can i be a freshman again.. pls??

this entry comes at the end of my 2nd sem... it marks the end of my freshmen year too.. i'm seriously starting to feel old.. once i was 21.. now moving onto 22(in a couple of mths) and more.. wat's more.. my sis is pregnant!

Tt's fantastic news.. but she had to remind me.. that i was gg to be an uncle... argh..

3 mths holiday? nah.. not for me.. mine is totally filled with stuff.. haha.. totally not wat i had in mind.. lets see.. special sem --> reservist --> FOC
3 mths filled up easily.. (but not wat i had in mind)

i still need a break.. a holiday.. a year without a break.. sucks totally... no time to re-energise...

I'm so looking forward to FOC in july.. it reminds me of my time as a freshman.. i wanna relive the experience.. where you meet new frens.. go thru stupid games.. but now.. i can't.. memories... trying to bask in it once more...

can i just be a freshman once again.. pls??

i dread growing up.. i love my life the way it is now.. well.. not in all aspects.. but mostly.. i wish for some things to change.. fast thou.. lol....

i can't see for sure which direction i'm heading for.. i juz wanna take things one step at a time.. which i'm afraid is impossible..

change.. change.. change..

if i had some magical powers of sort.. lol...